UBC News

Why Meeting Strangers At Work Events Feels Hard: Tips On Breaking Down Barriers

Episode Summary

Most professionals avoid approaching people they don't know at networking events due to psychological barriers, but understanding your brain's threat response and using specific conversation techniques can transform stranger interactions into valuable business relationships. To learn more, visit https://sarahphillipscoaching.com/psychology-of-networking

Episode Notes

You know that feeling when you walk into a networking event and everyone seems to already know each other? Your stomach tightens, you grab a drink, and suddenly the appetizer table becomes the most fascinating place in the room. If this sounds familiar, you're experiencing something completely normal—your brain treating strangers as potential threats. Here's what's really happening when you hesitate to approach someone new. Your social threat detection system activates the same brain regions that respond to physical pain. That's why rejection feels genuinely painful and why your instinct is to avoid it entirely. Understanding this response is the first step to working with your psychology instead of against it. The biggest mistake people make when networking with strangers is focusing on impressing them. This creates pressure and anxiety that others can sense immediately. Instead, shift your goal from "I need to prove my worth" to "I wonder what I can learn from this person." This simple reframe reduces stress and makes you genuinely curious about their experiences. Preparation eliminates most networking anxiety. Before any event, research the speakers and attendees. Identify three people you'd genuinely like to meet and learn about their work. Prepare conversation starters that feel natural—comments about the event, industry trends, or even the venue work better than generic questions. When approaching strangers, look for the right opportunities. People standing alone, waiting in line, or sitting at partially occupied tables are usually open to conversation. Start with environmental comments like "Great speaker tonight" or "Have you attended this event before?" These feel natural and give the other person an easy way to engage. Active listening is your secret weapon for memorable conversations. Most people spend networking events planning what to say next instead of truly hearing others. Give your complete attention, reflect back what you hear, and ask follow-up questions about their challenges or projects. This level of engagement is rare and creates genuine connections. The real networking happens after the event. Follow up within 48 hours with a personalized message referencing your conversation. Share a relevant article, make a useful introduction, or offer insights about challenges they mentioned. This positions you as someone who pays attention and thinks about others' needs. Remember, networking with strangers is a skill that improves with practice. Start with lower-pressure environments like coffee shops or volunteer events before tackling major conferences. Each conversation builds confidence for the next one. For professionals ready to transform their approach to meeting new people and overcome the psychological barriers that limit networking success, visit the link in the description to learn more from Sarah Phillips Coaching. Sarah Phillips Coaching City: Tramore Address: The Coast Road Website: https://sarahphillipscoaching.com/